Run + Yoga + Snow

I went for my first run in 2.5 months last week. I didn't die. It was awesome. A toasty 32* with a slight breeze, I pulled on my lululemon fleece lined tights, sports bra, and tank, then topped it off with my Sugoi fleece lined pullover. Garmin on left wrist, Road ID on the right wrist, and I was off. I decided to go with a nice 3 mile run, extending to 4 if I felt good or backing off to 2 if I didn't feel good. 29 minutes and 30 seconds later I was pressing stop. Not too shabby for my first run in so long! The first two miles were under 10 minutes each, then the last mile was about 10:10, it got really hard to breathe with the cold weather and the stuffy nose. I'm super glad that I got back out there and that I had a successful run, makes me eager to get out there again! Of course, I'll have to wait until this snowstorm comes...and then melts, of course.

not an actual part of the path i run on, but looks pretty similar. i'll have to snap a few pics next time i go out.

Yesterday I went back to bikram yoga class. Armed with my momma at my side I felt confident and ready to take on the world! Ok, well, not the world, just the yoga class, but you get the idea. We got completely ignored by the owner of the studio. Yes, completely ignored. It was myself, my mom, and him in the elevator, he knows who my mom is and could tell I'm her daughter. Jerk. But whatever, I'm glad he didn't talk to me, I would have told him to shut his mouth. ANYWHO, my practice itself was pretty good. I had to sit out more than I wanted during the standing series, but I rocked eagle and the entire floor series (except for camel, damn camel gets me every time). After yoga we stopped at Kingoberry on the way home for some fro-yo with yummy toppings. It's a tradition we've got, bikram yoga and fro-yo. Loves it.

me in awkward 2. 

I want to go for a run. Like right now...but it's 10:30 at night and cold and windy. and looking at the forecast for the next 10 days, well, there's a lot of snow. and cold. bikram on friday before work, for sure. sunday looks promising for a run, light snow and 30*. i am not running outside if it's under 25* people. no thanks.

Happy Friday!

Well, I haven't gone for run, nor have I been back to my yoga studio.

Mmm....oopsie! Since Wednesday the temperature has been dropping and today, with the wind chill, it's well under 0*. No outside running for me! I could get on the treadmill, but...I just haven't. I suppose I need to get on that.

I had full intentions of going to my yoga studio on Tuesday, but after a few emails with the owner of the studio, I really don't think he understands what my frustrations are. I've decided to be done with it though, I'm not going to focus on the bad, I've still got a bikram yoga practice to keep up! I'm going to go during 'off' times, mainly the 10am weekday classes, since there are no more than 12 people in class. Easy to go in, do my yoga, and go out without talking to anybody.

And now to the Win!(s)

I found out this morning that I won aliveinthefire's Get to Yoga giveaway! I've never won anything before so I am super excited to get my items! Even more exciting is that Rachel lives locally and we are going to meet up soon for a yoga class, chat, and to get a few of the items she's got on hand.

Then I answer a silly question to ZipCar on Twitter and bam! $13 in driving credit! Which is like just over an hour's worth of driving, but hey, better than nothing!

Off to a free lunch at the hotel because of a meeting and bam!...free lunch! Which is not to be confused with the mystery food they serve in the lunchroom, oh no, it was a lunch meeting in the main restuarant, paid for by the general manager. All you have to do is show up and voice your concerns about your department.

Theeeeen (yes, there is more), our Training Manager comes in with a gift card for me...$125 to any Lettuce Entertain You restaurant! This I got because I'm on the CARE Committee for the hotel and we won the CARE Cup and in lieu of taking us out to dinner they got us gift cards instead. Looks like boyfriend and I are going to be having a great dinner out soon!

Today is a great day!

just say 'namaste'

Over the course of the past few weeks, I've really gotten frustrated with my bikram yoga studio. All of the instructors are getting very snippy. One in particular, has really gotten under my skin.

Three weeks ago I was in her class and it was HOT, like super incredibly hot. Near the end of the class I was getting pretty worked up by the heat and I stayed in savasana, and I was using one hand to slightly fan myself. Partly to help cool me a least a teeny weeny bit and partly because I had some nervous energy. Then I hear "I promise *sniker sniker* that the FANNING is NOT going to help you." I immediately started crying. One of the guys next to me noticed and turned and asked if I was ok, the instructor sees and says "Tom, she's fine, don't worry about her." Then I guess she noticed I was crying and had come over and said it's ok to cry, but try to take deep breaths and calm down.

Last week I was in her class and she remarked "Holy SHIT, Tim and Steve, you guys are going to actually make it through an entire class." Now, this can be an encouraging thing to say, but not the way she delivered it. She stated it as though she was in disbelief that these men were going to make it through an entire class without sitting for a little bit. As well, the swearing seemed to be a bit unnecessary. Plus saying this 4 separate times throughout the class is a bit distracting. I don't need to hear that Tim and Steve are going to make it through the entire class. Say it once at the end, or mention it to them after class.

Now tonight, I got very frustrated and upset. To the point in which I do not even want to go back. I set up my mat next to the windows, in the front corner, right up by the mirror. I really like this spot because I like to see myself in the mirror and I like the windows. Between classes, they open a few of the windows to help air it out and while I was stretching and relaxing before class, I got cold. So I closed ONE of the THREE windows. The instructor comes in and asked if I closed one. Yes, because I got really cold. She tells me to "Hang out on the other side of the room until the windows get closed if I'm cold. We open them to air out the room after every class." Ok...this makes no sense. You are supposed to get into class, set up, and stretch (if you need it), and relax. How am I going to relax while I just sit around amongst everybody else trying to get settled?! So, after class, I stayed in the room an extra 10 minutes working on a few other poses and when I get up, I see that it's me, one of the other instructors, and maybe 3 other people, all the way on the other side of the room. I know that they open the windows, I'm a regular there, so I thought I would help out and just open the windows. Almost right away other other instructor snaps "Nina, PLEASE don't touch the windows." (This instructor has always been very nice and she learned and remembered my name right away.)

I got my stuff went to the locker room, put my clothes on over my shorts and bra and left as soon as possible. I didn't want to be there any longer. I do not feel at all encouraged by any of the staff members and I do not want to return. I met my mom for frozen yogurt and I was talking to her about it, and I started sobbing, in the middle of the eating fro-yo, because I was so upset. I left class feeling more frustrated and upset than at any other point in the past few days. Not at all conducive.

To top it all off, I've got 37 more classes in my packages. I've got 2, 20 packs. My mom suggested going at other times and just going in and focusing on my practice. She mentioned that I shouldn't feel obligated to take all of those classes, especially if I am going to continue to be upset by it. (She got me the 20 packs for Christmas and my birthday.) So I suppose I am going to take her advice and if I continue to feel this way I will stop attending classes there.

namaste

Judgements and Insecurities

I was in my bikram yoga class on Wednesday and to my left was a woman, heavy set, and wearing very little clothing. The first thought that came into my mind..."Well she's going to be crappy at this." And you know what? With the exception of eagle pose and standing bow pulling she kicked my ass. At least in the standing series when I could see her clearly. Shame on me for thinking she wouldn't be good at bikram because she's got a high number on the scale then I do. I'm also incredibly jealous of her half moon back bend. I can hardly tilt my head back, let alone get my arms to go back and practically touch the floor.

I came to realize that I am constantly putting others down in my head and being envious of the skinny girls in just a sports bra and teeny tiny shorts, even if they can hardly just stand in class. All of these judgements of others stem from my insecurities about myself. I put down people who are heavier than I am, who aren't as physically capable as I am, people who dress dowdy, to make myself feel better. It's a horrible thing to do. I am not proud. Nor should I be proud.

Despite that I no longer purge after meals and I don't weigh myself anymore, I still have insecurities about my body. With it being winter I've been more sedentary than during the warmer months. Heck, I haven't gone for a run in 2 months. I'm not fully equipped to run in the cold, and I hate being cold, and I have taken to loathing the treadmill. However, if I'm going to improve as a runner, I'm going to need to suck it up and bundle up or hit the treadmill.

And if I'm going to improve as a person, I need to learn to embrace myself, fully, just as I am. I need to remember that I am a person, with imperfections, just like everybody else. I accept myself, and others, for those unique imperfections.

In 2011, I Will...

...compete in the 2011 South Shore Duathlon (pending that I can afford to buy a bike)

...run the Soldier Field 10 miler and Chicago Half Marathon

...make my own headboard (I did that today!)

...get straight As in school

...cancel unneeded credit card(s) (I canceled one yesterday and I can't find the other...so at least I can't use it!)

...try Bar Method and CrossFit classes

...cook and eat more meals at home

...shave 10 minutes off my half marathon time

...take a cooking course

...travel to San Fran, and hopefully Ireland and France!